Somehow, it's appropriate that this comes on a monumentally-numbered post.
For the 200th entry into this blog, I once again recommit myself to running, but in a slightly different way.
The last few weeks have been, to put it simply, stressful. Trying to buy a house and having the bank be completely incompetent is enough of an issue to send anyone into a sleepless spiral of doom. Add to that two jobs, hours of marathon training, and working on a show that takes the remainder of your time and energy, and you've got a recipe for disaster, which is exactly what I've been the last few weeks.
It has affected virtually every aspect of my life negatively, and the problem is that I've let it. I've gone on a total of two runs in the last two weeks, which is just awful. I had a hiccup in my training before Seattle, but nothing like this. My work has been unfocused, and while I think the show is going well, it's not without some reluctance that I leave the house at showtime. I've been waking up later and eating poorly, and just simply not taking care of myself. And today, we got more bad news about the house.
Oddly enough, we reacted completely differently. This time, we simply accepted it as what was to be expected from a group of people who obviously don't care about the emotional toll of their ineffectual processing. And just as strangely, this gave us a newfound sense of resolution. We finally realized that we can't allow this nonsense to control our lives. It is unfortunate that we have to deal with it at all, but we can face it with more strength if everything else is in line.
So with three weeks left to go before the Marine Corps Marathon, I'm on to my taper. The official taper, not the "I don't want to get out of bed" slacking that I've been doing the last couple weeks. I'm done with that.
Also, I haven't signed up for any more marathons at this point, not because I'm not going to do them, but because I want to run freely for a little while. I'll spend a few weeks (at least) after the marathon running basic, everyday, "just because" runs. I'm going to have an offseason where every run isn't a part of something bigger. I want to run simply for the joy of running, going as fast or as slow as I like. I'll do a few road races (including a Susan G. Koman race and a Turkey Trot in November), but nothing of substantial distance. I may train for the Austin Half Marathon to see what kind of time I can do, but it's looking like my next actual marathon won't be until April.
Many people talk about the simple joy of running, and when I'm constantly timing myself and following someone else's recommendations, it becomes more about the chore than about the joy. I'm taking the joy back.
So tomorrow, I'm going to get up early, and I'm going to run, and then I'm going to write a blog post.
And life goes on.