I've got nothing.
For a little added inspiration, I went back and read my first entry from all the way back in January. What shocked me most was how bad I am at writing.
It did, however, get me thinking about the difference in my mindset since then. When I wrote it, the entire thing came from a very idealistic place. Some part of my brain has always believed that I was invincible, and that my body would do anything I asked of it. I did not consider at that time any of the logistics that would be involved in this mission. The airfare, finding the time to run, etc. All I thought about was whether or not I could run 26.2 miles 50 times, and I knew I could do that.
Now, I'm approaching this endeavor from a much more analytical and intelligent standpoint. I'm reviewing training plans in an effort to properly prepare my body and continue to improve my times. Although I currently can't afford to buy what I would need, I'm studying different diet plans to find ways to maximize my energy intake.
More importantly, I'm seeing this for the lifelong commitment that it really is. This is not simply a hobby that I'll do on weekends. Running has become a major component of my life again, which I'm very happy about. Five miles has become almost a throw-away run. I'm waking up earlier (often) and yet I still feel more rested and energized. I think I'm finally at a point where I can call myself a runner once more and really mean it. I've been at it almost continuously for nearly five months now, which is easily longer than I've maintained a workout schedule at any point in the last eight years.
And in all this accomplishment, I don't know that I'm any wiser. I'm trying to work on my form, I acknowledge the need to regulate my sleep and food intake, and I've certainly bettered my exercise wardrobe, but other than that, I don't feel like that much has changed.
So what has it been for?
Me. That's what it's been for. I've run over 400 miles since the beginning of the year, which is just incredible to me. My times are dropping, and every time I come in under my goal time for a run, I am absolutely elated. If I can just hold myself to a more stringent routine of getting up and out the door, then I can start almost every day with that kind of positive energy.
But most importantly, I feel like I'm doing something big. I've always wanted to do something that no one else has done, or at least that not many have done, and I think this might be it for me. Running a marathon alone is a spectacular accomplishment, but doing one in every state is something many talk about, but relatively few, most likely, have actually done. And maybe some day my blog will get a following. And maybe my times will be good enough to get mentioned in something people care about. And maybe, just maybe, I can find a way to make a living with all of this. But for sure, I'll have set an extremely long-term goal, and I'll have accomplished it through sheer force of will, overcoming whatever obstacles happen to be in my way.
For example, keeping a puppy running when she'd rather lay down in the grass. Or apologizing to the person who I thought had run a red light but actually had a green arrow. Or avoiding grackles that attack the aforementioned puppy. And that was all just today.
Life is good, and I believe it's better because running is involved. I've got many, many more posts in me, and many, many more miles to run, but I've enjoyed it so far, and I hope to keep it up.
Here's to the next hundred!
75 Degrees / Cloudy
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